I can't talk right now. It is time for my nightly rub down.
I went to the vet school today and had my stitches out. But they discovered I had been licking part of my wound. So I have to keep my collar on for ANOTHER WEEK!  And they weighed me. I gained half a pound. I guess my diet is not working so well. Not my fault. I don't have opposable thumbs so I am not opening cans of fud.

So I am going to snuggle with Dad until I get over my pout.

And oh, by the way. I checked the mail today. There was no mini-meatloaf. (big sigh)

Messages De-Coded

Mango has left a new comment on your post "When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best - Dozer...":

Dozer,

Don't you worry. I can tell you are under stress. I know that "Cooper is not a poopy-head" is secret code for "Help! I am trapped with Cooper poopy-head and starving to death!" (Exactly! You are reading this correctly Mango!)

What is this sleeping on the bed only four nights? I think you have been in jail for totally 372 nights, right?  (Dad's been away on a trip to Seattle and that is the only time we get to have a pig pile on the bed. Otherwise we sleep on our own beds on Mum's side of the bed on the floor. I am sure the ASPCA would be interested in this!)

Slobbers, Mango

P.S. Momma says your mom is very silly and must love you a lot. Humph. Must be code for "keep that corgi skinny and behind bars" (I am pretty sure Mum is psycho and is using humor to deflect any inquiring minds from checking on me and my well being but yes, you de-coded the message about my incarceration and diet).

 

CARE packages may be sent to me in care of General Delivery, Philomath, Oregon. I will have Dottie walk down to the post office to pick up for me. Even though it is a one mile trip (round-trip) and she is deaf and blind, I cannot trust Cooper. I think he is a mole or a snitch, not sure which. If you send the mini-meatloafs, send extra ketchup please.

When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best - Dozer

Mum let me open my package from Emmitt this morning and I got a magic button with my picture on it! We read the note and then Mum took a picture for my blog and now we are discussing whether to hang my magic button on my collar or pin it to my cage. Thank you Emmitt and Melissa - you are so thoughtful during my time of confinement.

In an effort for full disclosure and transparency (that sounds grown-up doesn't it?) and because so many of you suggested I was perhaps exaggerating my desperate situation, Mum is making me share the following:

1. I am not starving to death. I am 4 pounds overweight and I cannot exercise right now. I get baby carrots for snackies and dog cookies twice a day, plus meals.

2. I am not locked in the cage most of the time. Mum lets me sit in her chair in the family room or on the floor in the art room. I only get locked up when the vacuum cleaner is on the prowl.

3. Cooper is not poopy-head and has been very nice to me during my surgery time. He slept by my cage when I came home so I would not be lonely.

4. I have gotten to sleep on the bed with Mum and Cooper four 4 nights.

5. My imagination tends to run wild and Mum says this can be most unbecoming.

I would like to say the above was made under extreme duress and does not necessarily reflect the true feelings of the corgi in question.

Now where the he** are my mini-meatloafs?

Please Release Me...Let Me Go! - Dozer

This incarceration is so against the Geneva Convention, but because I am a dog, no one from the Red Cross has come to check on me. Check out my accomodations, pretty sterile yes?

Yes, I have a bed, but does it match my blue color scheme?
No, of course not.

This is me looking out at the world. Everything is passing me by.

If you whine long enough your parents will build a make-believe crate in the family room so you can be by them. This worked beautifully. Once they became complacent, I encouraged them to take the crate outside on the deck by telling them I was probably low on Vitamin D and could stand a sun bath.

I let them think I was tired and wanted nothing more than to take in some sun and rest.

Once they decided I was fine by myself, I managed to break down the cage and escaped out through the side yard of the house and out to the driveway. It was great listening to Mum scream "Dozer!" and Dad asking "Is Dozer out?" (well obviously, do you think Mum would be screaming my name because she was happy with me? not likely). Unfortunately Dad caught me and I was taken back into the house and put back in the locking cage in the living room.

Howie PeePants - You'se Mum mentioned something about small meatloafs, can you ask her when she is going to send them to me? The vets put me on a diet because I am sedentary and I am only getting 3/4 a cup of fud a day (yes, I said a day!) I am already weak and the time change has really upset my clock so I think it is meal time every hour now.