Note sent to Tank, Head Commandant of "Whack-A-Squirrel":
We started our last offensive by trying to dislodge the enemy from the apple tree. I pulled while Dottie barked to confuse the flying rodents.
I gave my task all my energy, pulling and twirling.
Those darn squirrels refused to let go and kept pelting me with branches and stuff. It was most distressing!
Then I turned around and saw the squirrels running to the shed and laughing at us.
Dottie kept watch at the tree while I ran after the squirrels.
I almost had the squirrels when natured "called". This put me in a vulnerable position, if you know what I mean. While I was otherwise engaged, the squirrels attacked me and I was wounded in the paw defending myself. 
Although the wound is most painful and requires a lot of expensive medicine, I want to get back to the front lines.
My nurse administers my ointment and antibiotics twice a day to stave off the rampant infection from the squirrels. Yes, I have "squirrel cooties".
We have not seen Dottie since the battle but Cooper thinks she is under the shed taking up a defensive position. I am in the sick tent and Cooper is maintaining our front line as well as he can. It would not be unseemly to say 'WE NEED HELP AND WE NEED IT NOW'! Whatever you can send and as soon as you can send it would be nice.(Mother's Note: Dozer did not get bitten by a squirrel. He does not have "squirrel cooties". He has a staph infection on his paw and he is getting lots of antibiotics and other medicine. He is not in ICU nor is his life in an danger.)
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