Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Insidious Squirrels! - Notes from Dozer

Dottie finally returned to the fold and brought treats! Apparently those squirrels are now using brainwashing techniques and cruel torture to infiltrate our troops! Dottie says she was kidnapped by a battalion of squirrels and taken to their secret outpost under the garden shed. After hours of playing Crazy Eights, eating rawhide chewies with liver dip and drinking aged-to-perfection toilet water, Dottie said that it seemed to make sense to invite the squirrels into the house. She said the squirrels released her with the treats as a sign of good faith. I can see no good of this coming and I feel we must say strong or we will succumb to these long-tailed rodents. Cooper unfortunately dove into the rawhide chewies and liver dip with total abandon so I don't see him being a big help. I continue to recover my injuries (like I am going to 'forgive and forget' the squirrels and my fight with them? Not!) and have sandbagged all the doors to the outside. I called Home Depot and they are delivering wooden slats to cover the windows and I am putting spikes in the flue of the fireplace. Those squirrels will not take over the house!

"Listen those squirrels are really nice and you should see their pantry! They have bags of treats and the most amazing liver dip, you guys should come play Crazy Eights with us!

I tried one of the chewies and it was good...but my injury reminds me of my duty to Whack A Squirrel.
Cooper has forgotten all his training and
has fallen to our prey's wiley ways!
He also fell asleep while on duty again.


Martha Basset said...

We just knew Dottie had been dognapped!
Do you think the chewies have been drugged?
Martha & Bailey xxxx

Checkers said...

oh dear - sounds like trouble in your house

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Uh-oh. This cannot be good. Sneaky little long-tailed devils!

*very watchful kissey faces*

chicamom85 said...

Hold on, be strong, don't give in to the evil menace. Please come and see my blog, I have distressing news, the squirrels are evolving. Send help.

Sasha(under the bed)

Pearl said...

Oh Dozer, this is all so disturbing! Have you considered dressing Dottie up like a Giant Squirrel? Maybe we could convince them that she is their leader?

Melissa and Emmitt said...

oh my gosh! you guys are very busy over there!

Anonymous said...

Oh no! Sorry for the delay guys but Momma caught me boxing up Alice...I was going to ship her to you but Momma said she could smufficate in the box. I'll figure out some way to get her there to help out. If we frizzed out her tail a little she could go undercover with Dottie and infiltrate the squirrel army.....


ClassyChassy said...

What an amazing life they have!

^..^Corgidogmama said...

A division in the troops, not good, not good!
This is so much fun reading the tales of your household furkids!

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Oh dear...I've missed out so much on the action! Sorry to hear about your injuries, Dozer! The squirrels sure know how to win over us doggies...>.<" Get well soon!


ocmist said...

Does your Mom want her house overrun with squirrels?!! Explain to her that SHE needs to provide the extra treats and chewies so that Cooper is being paid well enough to stick with the plan! (And, of course, you deserve all the extras, too, for your loyalty under duress.

Mom LOVES the pic of Dottie's big smile! Poor thing... dognapped AND brainwashed!