Someone Call 911 - from Dozer

Cooper took all MY TOYS behind Mum's chair and he won't let me play with any of them. Not just one or two but all the good toys and bones too! This isn't fair and he won't let me come behind the chair and get any of them. And Mum is a total goose about defending my rights. I told Cooper I was going to call Santa Paws and tell him what a bad dog Cooper is and not to bring him any presents or to bring them and stuff them in my stocking. And Cooper won't listen to me, he just keeps chewing all the good bones. I keep circling the chair but I can't get back in there. No one here cares about me or my feelings. I want to pack my bags and leave but I don't have a suitcase and I have too many toys to carry (the other toys Cooper doesn't have slobber on).

So I got Mum's camera and took a really funny picture of Cooper when he fell asleep. He has his tongue hanging out and there is a big booger under his eye. And his eye is sort of open. Mum says Cooper is cute when he is asleep - I think he looks like a shag rug with a pink tongue. When he wakes up I am going to tell him he will never get a girlfriend if he sleeps with his tongue out. He's never mentioned wanting a girlfriend but if he did want one, he wouldn't get one 'cause I will show her this picture and she'll laugh at him. I really want my toys back! Cooper is supposed to be quiet and meek and now he has turned into a stealthy thief! Mum says to calm down and that it's not all about me. Well, if it's not about me then it can't be very interesting.

I am going to go to bed and make Mum snuggle with me and tell me how wonderful I am. I may limp to the bedroom to make Mum feel sorry for me. I liked it better when I was an only child.