Dear Santa Claws

Dear Santa Claws,

I am writing on behalf of myself and my brother Cooper this year. Coop can’t type as well as I can. (And I think he enjoys dictating to me and I definitely enjoy editing his comments.)

I have a short list of wishes I want to ask of you.

1. I would like a large jar of the Sweet Potato Treats just for me. The extra large treats would be great and if you could write “These are just for Dozer” on the jar, that would be helpful.

2. I would like a tartan walking vest, preferably in Royal Stewart, for my special walks in parades or during my club visits during the winter. I belong to the Willamette Corgi Club here in Oregon and there are about 30 of us who do the annual Christmas parade and summer picnic. The Cardigan corgis always lord it over us that they have tails and we Welsh Pembroke corgis have bunny butts. A nice walking vest would make them think twice about their bragging rights.

3. And finally, I would like a big, meaty cow bone to gnaw on. Better get one for Cooper too so we don’t fight. I would prefer a really greasy bone, with a bunch of marrow. If it smells stinky, so much the better. If it is large enough to roll on so I smell just like it, that would be perfect. If you can’t get me a bone, I would like a cow pie to roll in. A nice, steamy, smelly one would be heaven.

Here is Cooper’s list:

Hello Mr. Santa,

My name is Cooper and my brother says you bring toys and treats to animals at Christmastide each year. Last year you found me my forever family and got me out the Greenhill Shelter for good. I thought when Greenhill saved me from being euthanized at another shelter it could not get much better, but the family you found me is even more wonderful. So I don’t think I should ask for anything more but Dozer says that this is what we are supposed to do, so I have a short list of wants.

1. I would like a kangaroo to keep in the backyard. I listened to the Discovery Channel and they said that roos are fairly agreeable animals and can poop up a storm. I love to eat poop and I think kangaroo poop would be a delicacy.

2. I would enjoy a glass of wine occasionally, preferably a perky Merlot. Mum says dogs cannot drink alcohol but I love wine and sneak sips when Mum leaves her glass unattended.

3. My brother Dozer is three years old and I am eight now. Could I have a heated bed if they are not too expensive? Mum gives me vitamins and joint medicine but sometimes I think sleeping on a heated bed would feel so good on my weary bones.

4. And my last request is not something you can give but something you could do. Could you put a gold star by my pawrents’ names on your list of good people so they get presents? They have spent a lot of money on me in the last year and I am an old dog. Most folks would not have have had my teeth fixed or spent so much money having the vet get my ears well and make sure I was healthy. I do not have any money to pay my pawrents back and Mum says I am worth a million dollars to her. I don’t know why but she seems to think I am something pretty special.

Thank you Santa Claws and have a nice holiday.