Sunday, July 27, 2008

Uh Oh, Buffet Blunder

So Mum read River's comment on my last blog and she put me against the wall and asked me what the *&%!# I have been writing in my blog. I suddenly felt sweat break out of my snout and had the distinct feeling I would see my life running past my eyes in short order.

"What writings?" I squeaked.

"How about the entries about you getting no food to eat other than what you can scavenge out of the compost bucket, or maybe how you are too weak to tap out another blog entry!?" (her voice got really loud and just a teeny bit strident).

To cut to the chase here, I have been asked, nay ordered to confess the following:

- I get half a cup of kibble each morning
- After my kibble I get half an apple
- After my half an apple I get my allergy pill in a slice of cheese
- I get half a cup of kibble each evening
- I get salmon oil (1/4 cup) with my dinner kibble for my heart health
- I get a large, unpeeled carrot with my dinner
- I get 1 beef treat with vitamins
- I get undeserved treats through the day and/or evening
- I eat apples that fall off our tree in the backyard whenever I want and no one stops me, even when I have apple farts afterwards

Mum says I am a pathological liar with serious psychopathic tendencies that will no longer be tolerated.

I tend to think I am just colorful. Mum does not find that the least bit amusing. And she wants to make sure all my friends know that I am not starving and I am not abused in any sense of the word. She says I am a spoiled little corgi who preys on the good nature of people. And the problem with this is......?


Peanut said...

She forced you to write that didn't she. I bet you dont' really get that much food.

River said...

Hey, dude, sorry for ratting you out! Didn't mean to cause problems. What we need to do is create code words that only doggies understand so the humans won't have a clue what we're talking about.

love & wags,

Willow the Black Dale said...

Say it isn't so! A Corgi a liar. Can't be, I just don't believe it. I won't believe it. I cover my eyes to the words she made you write. Note the MADE you write. Moms get all puffed up when it comes to our chow. Don't feel to bad.... I don't get fed to much either. Not to mention Pilar steals all my treats. That is why she is so chubby. Oh crap here she comes gotta go.

Paw fives,

Mango said...

That sounds like a forced confession to me. She likely was witholding your meager rations until you wrote all that down.

Hope you don't faint from hunger.


Preppy Pugs said...

Try laying down pathetically on your back and whimper... act like you've fainted from hunger. Good luck.