We regret to inform our readers that Cooper was caught on the computer last night attempting to send the judges of Mango Minister a missive stating that his brother, Dozer, had consumed rat poison over the weekend in an attempt as a grandstanding as a ploy to garner the sympathy vote in his class in Mango Minister!
I would like to state categorically that Dozer did not eat rat poison to ingratiate himself with the judges of Mango Minster. This type of behavior is uncharacteristic of Cooper and was met with complete shock and dismay.
Cooper has been put on short rations when it comes to treats and has had a stern, yet gentle, talking to about this sort of behavior.
Dozer was completely overcome with a justifiable desire to commit homicide and had to be reminded that being "crackers" does not include a need for an anger management course.
"Yeah whatever...I need a beauty nap for the Diva division."
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