Wednesday, June 8, 2011

How to Eat a Chewie - Lesson 1

Grasp the chewie firmly between your jaws.
Be confident, show the chewie you are in charge.

Determine which side of your mouth is your chewing side.
Move the chewie to that side of your mouth.
Clench down with an assertive snap.
Careful not to chew too deliberately so that the chewie
slips down your food hatch. This can provide an
opportunity for choking and tends to upset the parents.

Chew until the said chewie is completely soft and small in size.
Only swallow when the chewie has been determined to be
of small enough size to be consumed.

There is nothing quite so indelicate as throwing up one's chewie
on the living room rug. Chewies with rug bits are not on the menu.

Check the floor for any extra bits which may have fallen
away during the food exercise. Use your tongue to gather
any stray consumables which may have gone wandering.

Finish by having a water chaser to clean your palate.

Note to new chewier consumers: One chewie per day is appropriate. More than one per day may promote flatulence (gas) and bring tears to your parents' eyes, for all the wrong reason.


Mango said...

Nothing wrong with a little gas.


Amber-Mae said...

Very good tutorial! I have the tendency to not chew things properly. I got choked once from swallowing hard pieces of rawhide chew & my hoomies panicked like crazy till they rushed me to a 24/7 emergency vet! BOL! I was fine actually. They just over-reacted. Sheesh.

the booker man said...

hihi dozer 'n coop!

that was a very detailed informational on chewies! my fave part was about showin' the chewie that you are in charge. heehee.

the booker man

Archie and Melissa said...

hi dozer and coop!
thank yew fur the lessonm!
i need all the learn' i can get!
archie poo pants